“Not Normal Enough to Keep Friends, Not Different Enough to Be Believed”: New York Woman’s Video on Level 1 Autism Loneliness Strikes a Chord With Thousands
NEW YORK — A New York woman is sparking an honest conversation about life with Level 1 Autism, describing it as “the loneliest experience” because so many people do not understand it or refuse to accept it.
Maria, who shares her experiences on TikTok as @mariaaudhd, said she feels “not normal enough to keep friends or make friends.” Her video drew more than 237,000 views, over 42,000 likes and more than 1,500 comments.
A Late Diagnosis and a Platform for Neurodivergent Life
Maria was diagnosed with AuDHD, a combination of autism and ADHD, later in life. She regularly posts about how those diagnoses shape her daily experiences, relationships and work.
Stuck Between “Too Different” and “Not Different Enough”
Maria explained that Level 1 Autism leaves her at an awkward crossroads. She feels too different to fit in, yet not different enough for people to believe she is autistic.
Told She Isn’t Autistic, Then Asked “Why Do You Do That?”
She said people often tell her she is not autistic, while in the same breath asking, “Why do you do that?” about her behaviors.
The Traits That Irritate Those Who Don’t Believe Her
According to Maria, people who do not want to see her as autistic get frustrated with the very traits that come with it, such as:
- Needing things said directly
- Needing a clear plan
- Talking about herself when trying to relate to a topic
“Some People Won’t Accept My Disability”
Maria said the hardest part, and the one people often avoid saying out loud, is that some people will not accept her disability. She believes accepting it would force them to admit they do not like being around someone with a disability.
Struggling but Told Her Needs Are “Minimal”
She also voiced frustration over a lack of support. Even though she struggles, her needs are often viewed as minimal, leaving her without the help she feels she needs.
Viewers Share the Exhausting Cycle of Masking
The video became a safe space for others with similar experiences. One viewer described a repeating cycle of heavy masking, followed by burnout, isolation, skill regression and recovery, before it all starts again.
“Neurodivergent Purgatory”
Another viewer called it “neurodivergent purgatory,” explaining that they seem normal enough not to be “obvious” but just “off” enough for people to make hurtful jokes about them being from another planet.
Some Have Given Up on Making Friends
One commenter living with autism, ADHD and a range of chronic illnesses said they no longer even try to make friends.
Little Support Growing Up and at Work
Many said they received no support as children and are now considered not disabled enough to qualify for benefits. Another shared that their employer points out every autistic trait and tells them to “work on it.”
What Level 1 Autism Means
Level 1 is the autism level that typically indicates a need for some support. Because the challenges are often less visible, people with Level 1 Autism may face disbelief, misunderstanding and difficulty getting accommodations.
How to Be a Better Friend or Coworker
- Believe people when they share a diagnosis
- Communicate clearly and directly
- Respect routines and planning needs
- Avoid judging traits that differ from your own
A Growing Conversation About Hidden Disabilities
Maria’s video adds to a wider conversation about invisible disabilities and the loneliness that can come with them when the people around you do not understand.
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